Couples Counseling Articles

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The New Leadership Imperative

Like you and millions around the globe, I feel the magnitude of our current situation in many ways, in particular, in my role as a Coach. My clients are amazing leaders and professionals who are in crisis mode like never before. I stand with them, by them and in support of them. Having personally led teams thru the Y2k, 9-11 and housing crises, I know too well that this is beyond turbulent. It requires every ounce of will and determination, trust and faith in yourself and those around you.

If ever there was a time to step up as a leader…it’s now. If ever there was a more unsettled and confusing time to be a leader…it’s also now. We are being tested and challenged like never before in modern history.

I completely understand how scary a time like this is. We have no playbook because this is different. During 9-11 we could see the devastation of the Twin Towers, the soot on the faces of thousands of New Yorkers, the fires and the horrific images that are associated with that tragedy. This enemy we face today is invisible, and it’s unsettling.

You are being called upon to make split second decisions with information that is, at best incomplete, and changing in an instant, and at worst, incorrect because it’s unclear who the experts are and what the latest update is. I see it and feel it deeply both in my heart and in my gut.

Your people, your teams, your boards, your clients, customers & families…and other key stakeholders like suppliers, vendors & colleagues are looking to you. The stakes are high and you need the courage to lead. You’re all in this together…and…at the same time, you’re feeling more alone than ever. Everyone is.

What choice but to Lead with courage, conviction and compassion? If not you, then who?

Starting today, I will provide timely and helpful tips to help you lead courageously and navigate these murky and uncharted waters. Follow along for regular Tips and Ideas on how to be the best Leader you can be.

1. Your Team: Working remotely or temporary layoffs are very isolating. Remote workers suffer from depression at higher rates because of it. Stay connected thru regular 1-on-1’s (via phone or video conference) and conduct weekly team calls (via phone or zoom) to keep people informed, answer questions, understand their concerns and state of mind, and provide reassurance and support.

2. Key Customers/Partners: These stakeholders are your lifeblood. Trust that they are more forgiving in a crisis and believe that humanity prevails. What they need is assurance: Assurance that you are doing as much as you reasonably can. That you’ll be there. That you will provide timely information and candor. This is an opportunity to further build and solidify relationships. They need to know that:

  • You care. You are there; responsive & engaged. They will find comfort that you care enough to call and tell them what is going on.
  • It’s NOT business as usual and while they would not or should not expect it to be, knowing you’re doing everything to keep things running will build credibility, and trust. These are foundational for any relationship – business or personal.

Do you desire your partners attention? Join us…

If you kick back now and then to reflect, you know almost everything in your world is good.

You’re successful by any standards. You have wonderful people in your life, a nice home, cars and plenty of toys.

Life works and most days you’re happy.

Sometimes you might feel over extended, criticized or exhausted and what you need MOST is to connect with your partner.

The challenge is getting their attention….. effectively…. without slipping into an argument or negative spin.

And while you don’t expect perfection, at the end of the day, when you’re out of public view you know things can be better.

You are prepped and ready to experience our amazing…

Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples

2 Days / 7 Conversations / September 29 & 30

It’s our final workshop of the year and the perfect opportunity to carve out “time for us” while getting up close and personal with the ONE you love.

I have lots of powerful relationship information to share and I provide plenty of safe, structured space for conversations YOU want and cannot seem to have at home.

Best of all – there is NO public disclosure.

Every conversation is between you and your partner ONLY.

Any time you need coaching, you can call on me or one of the extraordinary relationship consultants who will be in the room with me. But only if you want it!

Act now. It’s our final workshop of the year. You can get more information and secure your seat here:

TheWellnessCounselingCenter.com/hmt

Or, you can call us at 704-319-5593 where our client support team is happy to help and answer any questions you might have.

Join us for a 3-Part Workshop – Couples & Coffee – Right here in Charlotte

I’ve created Couples & Coffee, a 3-part workshop designed to provide some new perspectives on the world of relationship. The first 2 evenings are for women and we’ll be inviting men to join us for the 3rd evening.

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You already know attracting a partner, shaping a relationship and loving your life is a tall order. But how do you create an environment that nurtures and nourishes a relationship? And in this hyper-active world, how do you make space for love to thrive?

Couples & Coffee is a very special conversation about having the courage to pause, try something new and approach your relationship in a playful, non-threatening way that’s still full of respect and integrity.

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The Best Thing I Never Told My Husband

Some of my best thoughts come to me while in an airport security line or on the tarmac just before take-off OR on my morning walk.

They’re generous, complimentary and carry a sense of appreciation.

Inevitably, I don’t have a pen handy, my phone’s at the bottom of my purse and I’m not at my laptop.

So I make a mental note — Remember to tell Steven XYZ… I think it through, even rehearse it under my breath… and then it’s gone. I forget.

That thought, that wonderful big-hearted thought… the one that could be a gigantic gift and make his day, goes unsaid.

Continue Reading The Best Thing I Never Told My Husband

Are You There For Me?

Are You There For Me?Like most folks, you probably thought having a safe, secure base and being dependent on another human being should be limited to parents and children.

Growing up, you were probably taught, explicitly or implicitly, that the most desirable option for any self-respecting adult was independence; that needing someone… relying on someone… and needing reassurance was a sure sign of weakness.

Fortunately, there’s a new paradigm emerging and the science is clear.

  • Effective dependence is optimal and loneliness is a greater risk to your health than smoking.
  • Having a close, loving relationship and a partner who provides a safe-haven and secure base – especially in difficult times – calms the central nervous system and soothes the brain.
  • Emotional closeness enables you to do more, be more; live more fully and take more risks.

It turns out, effective, healthy and mutual dependence is an extraordinary advantage in life.

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3 Things Happy Couples Do (Almost) Every Day

3 Things Happy Couples Do (Almost) Every DayHappy couples aren’t perfect the way you might imagine. They fuss and disagree just like everyone else. What’s unique about these couples is that partners are able to step out of negative situations fairly quickly and they do it together. They don’t brood, attack or stonewall each other.

Partners are available and engaged in affirming ways. If there’s a misunderstanding or hurt feelings, they tend to the hurt rather than blame or defend. Partners are able to reach out, connect and repair even when things are difficult.

These aren’t sweeping gestures. They’re tiny, courageous acts of love that have huge impact and bring lovers close.

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Post Holiday Conflicts? You’re Not Alone!

You’re grateful for the blessings in your life. Couple in conflict after the holidays

Still, the holidays probably took a toll because family issues, spending, rich foods, alcohol and all that running around — send the best of us into overdrive!

Maybe you find yourself irked that someone didn’t come thru for you or upset that you didn’t pull off the perfect Christmas – again.

You are not alone! Conflict and exhaustion are normal results of holiday frenzy and by January things can look bleak.

Continue Reading Post Holiday Conflicts? You’re Not Alone!

Are You Feeling Stuck? Start a Movement

Humans have the capacity to see the world through a whimsical lens or a weighty one. As a result, feelings usually ebb and flow. But sometimes… I can get stuck – I mean really, really stuck.Get Unstuck

It’s a universal human experience and happens to everyone.

Stuck-ness creeps in without warning and… when it does…. it reigns supreme and colors everything.

Continue Reading Are You Feeling Stuck? Start a Movement