Couples Counseling Articles

Post Holiday Conflicts? You’re Not Alone!

You’re grateful for the blessings in your life. Couple in conflict after the holidays

Still, the holidays probably took a toll because family issues, spending, rich foods, alcohol and all that running around — send the best of us into overdrive!

Maybe you find yourself irked that someone didn’t come thru for you or upset that you didn’t pull off the perfect Christmas – again.

You are not alone! Conflict and exhaustion are normal results of holiday frenzy and by January things can look bleak.

Have you noticed? The blogosphere is packed with articles about post holiday depression.

If you look a little closer, however, this is not only an annual event… may be part of a repetitive cycle you can change.

That’s why January is the perfect time to talk with your partner….. while everything is still fresh.

I know. I know. There are some things you’d rather forget but this is different.

All families have conflicts of one kind or another and financial issues will always pop up. Invariably, there will be more on your ‘to do’ list.

This conversation is different because it’s about your relationship.

If you want to have the conversation,

•    First connect
•    then reflect.

Review what worked… what didn’t…and what needs to be added or eliminated.

Identify what brings joy into your lives — I mean real joy.

You can start with these 6 questions:

•    Were we a team?
•    Did one of us just go-along?
•    Did we do what we love or were we trying to fulfill some outdated expectation?
•    Were our activities meaningful or did we just smile our way through?
•    Can we savor the memories?
•    Would we choose to do it all over again?

If the conversation tweaks you, ask ….

•    Are we ok?
•    Is our relationship in good shape?
•    Can we depend on each other?
•    Are holiday images prettier than the reality?
•    Does something need to change?
•    And, if so, how can we do it together?

Things can change. But you’ll have to step out of wishful thinking and take action.

Otherwise, you’ll be dealing with the post holiday blues again — on schedule — in about 12 months.

Insight is interesting but won’t create the change you want.

You’ll need to take action – together.

Insight + Action = Change

Now reach out gently and invite your partner into a conversation.