Therapeutic (EFT) Resources | Wellness Counseling Center

Therapeutic Counseling Resources for Couples, Individuals, & Family Connection

If you want to discover more about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and relationships, you’re in the right place! EFT is the most successful method on the planet for couples and we believe so strongly in its effectiveness that it’s pretty much all we use at Wellness. We’d love to make a few suggestions as you research the therapeutic resources available to you. You’ll find some of our favorite material below.

What is EFT?

EFT in Action

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an experiential method based on research into human bonding. It’s more than a marriage counseling resource. It helps explain how things go wrong in our relationships and what it takes to put them right. Dr. Sue Johnson, the co-creator of EFT shares more in this video.
This clip is less than 4 minutes long and one of the best couples therapy videos we know of. Sue Johnson works with a highly distressed couple at a conference in San Diego, California. While working with them collaboratively, she demonstrates the EFT model. In the video you can actually witness the challenge-to-connect that many couples have – even when they love each other very much.
EFT is not for everyone and ultimately, only you can determine if EFT is the right fit for you. Until then, we’re happy to help you and your partner explore. Perhaps one of the most important things to keep in mind is that EFT is based in Attachment Theory. In brief, it’s short-term, evidence based and collaborative. There’s no-shame and no-blame. We help you get unstuck and straight to the heart of the matter.

The Power of Vulnerability

Listening to Shame

In this TED Talk, Brené Brown, Researcher/StoryTeller, expands our perception in ways that change the way we work, love and parent. If you think of life as messy and you want to ‘clean it up’ this message is for you. She starts with connection and delves into our ‘opportunities for growth’.
Brené Brown reveals shame as an unspoken epidemic in all of us and the secret behind broken behavior. She talks about her own vulnerability hangover and describes shame. Brown dispels the myth that vulnerability is weakness. In fact, it’s ‘the most accurate measurement of courage’.

This Could Be Why You're Depressed or Anxious

Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong

Johann Hari shares cutting-edge information about why depression and anxiety are on the rise. He explains our deep human need to be seen, heard, and valued. He also talks about remedies beyond pharmaceuticals. The antidote for anxiety and depression is connection.

Our cultural propensity for judging and punishing addicts may not be the right solution after all. New evidence about bonding tells us almost everything we know about addiction is wrong. Happy and connected lives can make a huge difference for most people.
The videos above and books below can help you better understand how healthy relationships thrive and how you can create emotional connection with the people you care about most. Take your time and explore. These resources can truly help you build the strong relationships you so richly deserve.

Recommended Reading

Hold Me Tight book

Hold Me Tight

Love Sense

Although the method was once controversial, EFT resources are now easy to find. That wasn’t always true! ‘Hold Me Tight’ is the first book Dr. Sue Johnson wrote for the general public and it puts forward the idea that loving intimate partnership is an essential human bond. Sue postulates that a loving connection requires safe emotional space. In the book, she uses conversations, exercises, and sound advice for you and your partner to enjoy together.

If you’re looking for another couples therapy resource, take in some cutting-edge research with ‘Love Sense’. It’s all about how and why we love. This new understanding changes everything because when we move from bargaining and negotiating to human bonding, we create the basis for a secure, long-lasting relationship. Connection is like human super-glue. It bonds us.

An Emotionally Focused Workbook For Couples

Attached.

When clients ask about ‘homework’, we recommend this workbook. It’s one of the best therapeutic resources for couples that we know of. We suggest you set aside one hour a week to do this workbook together and we offer clients additional tips on how to use it effectively. Everything in this workbook is in alignment with the EFT model we use with clients at Wellness.

Understanding adult attachment offers you a roadmap for building stronger more fulfilling relationships. We’ve discovered that having information about Attachment Theory provides a lot of insight and is a great couples counseling resource for everyone. Once you determine an attachment style: Anxious, Avoidant, or Secure, it helps explain why some people navigate relationships easily while others struggle.

Together

The Body Keeps The Score

Vivek Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General, makes the case for loneliness as an urgent public health issue AND universal human condition. It affects our health, how children perform in school and how we perform in the workplace. He shares the profound importance of community and connection.

Bessel van der Kolk explores trauma as a fact of life and exposes the tremendous power of our relationships to both hurt and heal. He offers hope for reclaiming our lives and relationships by explaining how trauma reshapes both our bodies and brains and what we can do about it.

My Grandmother's Hands

What Happened To You?

Trauma is deeply embedded in our bodies and is where we experience the fight, flee, or freeze response. Beautifully written, Resmaa Menakem examines the effects and generational anguish impacting Americans resulting from our deeply entrenched racialized divide. Menakem is an author and psychotherapist specializing in the effects of trauma on the human body.

If you’ve ever judged yourself or others while thinking “What’s wrong with me?” or “What’s wrong with that person?” this book is essential. Oprah Winfrey and brain and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry offer a profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”

The Seat of the Soul

All About Love

Explore the new and emerging understanding of power; the alignment of your personality with your soul. This kind of power requires each of us to make the values of the soul our own – while creating meaning and purpose in our own lives. This will change the way you interact with people.
bell hooks offers a proactive new vision of love. This intensely personal work declares that our society has failed to provide a model for learning to love. Using love as a verb rather than a noun, she explores what love is and provides us with a new path that is sacred, redemptive, and healing.

Spiritual Partnership

Parenting with Love & Logic

Explore relationship as an everyday path to authentic power. Today most of us understand power as the ability to manipulate and control and we’re beginning to understand power as harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for life. This changes the way we see the world and each other.

Simple wisdom on how to lovingly raise responsible children. This book includes solutions for lots of topics including tantrums, chores, grades, peer pressure, navigating a crisis, taming tempers and re-establishing a calm, healthy relationship with your child.

Beyond Addiction

Raising Good Humans