Couples Counseling Articles

Partner

The Perfect Lipstick

When you buy lipstick at a big box store, you’ll likely pay under $10 for a well-known brand made in a manufacturing plant somewhere far away.

If you go to a posh department store you can buy a deluxe brand for under $50 – likely made in that same plant.

When Neiman Marcus and Christian Louboutin offer up a Rouge Matte Lip Colour in a beautiful black box, they’re not selling you a $90 lipstick. They’re selling memorable, significant and over-the-top-notice-me.

And if you really want to scramble your brain you can go to Amazon and buy a Maybelline, drugstore brand, lipstick for over $165. (Nope. That is not a typo.)

The important thing to know is that within a fraction of a percentage point, all lipsticks contain the same ingredients. It’s not about where you buy lipstick or how much you pay, It’s about the story we tell ourselves and what we believe.

In the drawer, is one lipstick really better than the other? Is there really a right choice? It depends….on what texture and color you like, your skin tone, what you’re wearing that day and where you’re going. Maybe even your mood.

We choose. And because there is no absolute ranking, ‘preference’ is different than ‘right’.

This applies to just about everything in life… including intimate relationship.

How we use language, choose our words, our tone of voice, the conversations we decide to engage in…and whether or not we bring our best selves to the table.

Having an open heart and being in sync with our partner is always a choice.

Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples – Charlotte, NC – September 28 & 29

How do you want to feel in your relationship?

Safe? Warm? Respected? Understood? Cherished?

Whatever it is for YOU…. if you’re trying hard to make things better – you’re not alone.

We’re all pretty good about attending to our children, homes and careers. Yet when it comes to our primary relationship, most of us wing it and hope for the best. STOP!

What YOU want for your relationship is more important today than ever before.

It’s time to dig deep and think about the ONE thing that’s likely to make everything better.

You know what I’m talking about….connection.

It creates the kind of closeness you experience when you have important conversations…. without slipping into that dreaded negative spin.

Connection is a must-have for 21st century relationships and exactly what you’ll experience in our couples workshops.

Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples

2 Days – 7 Conversations

Join us on September 28 and 29!

The Wellness Center Counseling Hold Me Tight workshop

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Continue Reading Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples – Charlotte, NC – September 28 & 29

When Conversations Go Off The Rails – Bad Things Happen

Can you relate? It happens to all of us.

It’s that moment in your relationship when things are great and suddenly someone gets triggered.

The conversation goes off the rails and your partner makes NO sense.

Communication goes in circles and you both feel frustrated, hurt and confused.

Intuitively you know it’s a negative loop – one that’s almost impossible to stop.

You’ve been here 100 times before and you want to stop it………. but you can’t

You’d love to get your point across. But, what you want MOST is to be heard and understood.

Sometimes you’re left wondering what the heck the argument was even about.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

These negative cycles are UNIVERSAL and every couple has them.

Continue Reading When Conversations Go Off The Rails – Bad Things Happen

Registration is open and I’m super excited!

I’m thrilled to announce that Early Bird Registration (big savings!) is open for our 2019 Hold Me Tight® Workshops here in Charlotte, NC.

We have four 2-day weekends to choose from!

 

Yep. I’m that excited.

Most of us value our primary relationship and truly want to make it better – we read books and spend hours scouring the internet wondering how to make that special connection happen.

We carefully and regularly attend to our…

  • children
  • careers
  • cars
  • yards
  • mortgages and
  • home improvement projects

with LOTS of success.

But if you work your tail off and can’t figure out why things aren’t getting better between you and your partner — you are not alone.

(HINT: this is not something we’re taught in school. And people rarely recognize emotional closeness as a skill worth building and cultivating. Turns out, it’s as essential as oxygen!)

Make no mistake – the ability for a couple to have enough closeness and trust to have an important conversation (or any conversation for that matter!) without slipping into a negative spin – is a must-have for 21st century relationships.

And that’s exactly what you’ll learn in our Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples.

After 2 days and 7 conversations, you’ll walk away with concrete ways to communicate and pull your partner closer.

Talking, listening and being heard for the first time in a loooooong time is exactly what you’ll experience.

Click here and select the date that works for you……

Continue Reading Registration is open and I’m super excited!

Do You Want to Make Life Better and Easier?

I’ve always been amazed at how much easier life can be when you have a supportive partner and a great relationship. At least that’s the way it is for most people and, YES, you can have that in YOUR life!

Recently we’ve had a ton of inquiries about our 1-Day Couples Intensives and we always make it a point to be straight-up and let people know who’s best suited for them.

The Wellness 1-Day Couples Intensive may be a perfect fit for you if:

  • You’re a busy couple
  • You live locally
  • You love each other and want things to be better (Not necessarily perfect; just better.)
  • You’re ready to take that huge and courageous first step
  • You like the idea of walking away at the end of the day with homework and a clear vision of what’s next

The 1-Day Couples Intensive covers 4-5 weeks of couples therapy in one day, completes our assessment/discovery phase and primes you for ongoing work with one of our amazing, caring therapists.

Continue Reading Do You Want to Make Life Better and Easier?

Do you desire your partners attention? Join us…

If you kick back now and then to reflect, you know almost everything in your world is good.

You’re successful by any standards. You have wonderful people in your life, a nice home, cars and plenty of toys.

Life works and most days you’re happy.

Sometimes you might feel over extended, criticized or exhausted and what you need MOST is to connect with your partner.

The challenge is getting their attention….. effectively…. without slipping into an argument or negative spin.

And while you don’t expect perfection, at the end of the day, when you’re out of public view you know things can be better.

You are prepped and ready to experience our amazing…

Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples

2 Days / 7 Conversations / September 29 & 30

It’s our final workshop of the year and the perfect opportunity to carve out “time for us” while getting up close and personal with the ONE you love.

I have lots of powerful relationship information to share and I provide plenty of safe, structured space for conversations YOU want and cannot seem to have at home.

Best of all – there is NO public disclosure.

Every conversation is between you and your partner ONLY.

Any time you need coaching, you can call on me or one of the extraordinary relationship consultants who will be in the room with me. But only if you want it!

Act now. It’s our final workshop of the year. You can get more information and secure your seat here:

TheWellnessCounselingCenter.com/hmt

Or, you can call us at 704-319-5593 where our client support team is happy to help and answer any questions you might have.

After The Argument

Relationships don’t fall apart because of an argument. You and your partner both know mistakes happen. It’s what happens after the argument that can undermine your love for each other. How we repair the injury caused by our blunders is what matters most. That’s where the world of possibility lies.

If you’re available, responsive and engaged and you’re able to stay with your lover’s pain, a door opens to the possibility of building a partnership that’s even stronger than before. It creates a ripple effect that flows into other relationships and supports everyone around you – especially children.

More often than not, we’re focused on not making mistakes. We spend a life-time walking on eggshells and filled with so much shame and blame that we forget about the emotional labor of showing up and staying the course.

Continue Reading After The Argument

You’re Invited to a Couples Workshop: 2 Days – 7 Conversations

Have you ever wondered what it means when someone says, ‘We’re drifting apart.’?

It means, “We’re loosing our connection and we don’t know how to find our way back to each other.”

Maybe you can relate. And maybe you’ve been wanting to have heart-to-heart conversations with your partner. But you come off your daily routine physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted so you put it off until the weekend.

Then during your ‘down-time’, when things are going well, the last thing you want to do is upset everyone (including yourself) by having a well-intentioned conversation spin out of control.

In your heart, you know how vital good communication is. It’s the most important skill you can learn when it comes to marriage and relationship success. It’s also the #1 presenting issue when most couples seek help for their relationship.

You can dance around things for a while. Eventually, you’re going to have to talk about the important stuff if you want closeness.

If you don’t know how to have important conversations without spinning into a negative cycle, then it’s impossible to have much security or stability in your relationship.

On the other hand, if you know how to have these conversations or you’re willing to learn, YOU can get to the heart of the matter quickly.

No matter who you are or how long you’ve been together, if you want to improve your relationship and grow closer, you must have CONVERSATIONS that get to the heart of the matter.

That’s why Wellness Counseling Center is excited to provide the most effective relationship information I know of ….all wrapped up in 2 Days and 7 Conversations.

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop – June 23 & 24, 2018
7 Conversations For You and Your Partner
Charlotte, North Carolina

Get the details: http://TheWellnessCounselingCenter.com/hmt

Continue Reading You’re Invited to a Couples Workshop: 2 Days – 7 Conversations

Join us in 2018 for a Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop

Maybe things have been perking along between you for years…. and they still are.

But recently, you’ve noticed things changing and you feel a shift calling you toward a deeper connection. If you want a close intimate partnership….. and you’ll settle for nothing less…. this is your invitation.

It’s time to peek behind the curtain and explore what’s possible.

We’re getting ready for our new couples workshop starting in January and I hope you’ll join me there.

It’s a wonderful way to start the new year and this workshop is designed especially for people like you who want more out of their relationship.

If you’ve ever asked the question: What’s the ONE thing that would make life easier? The answer is usually pretty simple but hard to implement.

Hold Me Tight Couples WorkshopThis Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop provides you with new perspectives on love and the world of relationship. It’s interactive and will give you and your partner fresh insight and tools you need to shape a loving bond and a closer connection.

Continue Reading Join us in 2018 for a Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop

If You Can’t Name It Or Claim It… You Can’t Change It

It doesn’t help to tell your partner how much you hurt or what a disappointment they’ve been unless you’re willing to look at the whole picture.

They’ll take it as an attack and fight back with an argument or they’ll shut down. None of that works.

You can’t have a real conversation with your partner until you can agree on what happens between you. You’ve got to be willing to look at the data.

Ah-ha moments come with new insights. By seeing patterns… and recognizing how we effect each other when we dismiss, blame, criticize and ignore.

Without exploring what’s really happening, it’s impossible to accomplish much.

After all, when we don’t like what’s happening, it’s easiest to blame somebody else. “It’s not me, it’s you…” Then you’re off the hook.

Continue Reading If You Can’t Name It Or Claim It… You Can’t Change It