When we’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get stuck on the stories we tell ourselves.
When these stories are based in frustration and fear, they live inside us and are rarely spoken out loud.
We lose ourselves in them and the moment we do, we shut out the people we care about most.
Actually, we shut out everyone because once we get caught up in the story, we’re no longer present with people and the world around us.
We become overwhelmed or distracted and it’s hard to function optimally.
When these internal conversations get big enough, we can’t hold them anymore and we might feel compelled to share them with others (aka venting or gossiping).
When a relationship is in high distress, the storylines we tell ourselves are often disparaging and untrue. Because we’ve told them so many times, it’s hard to believe they could be otherwise.
Sometimes we resort to telling stories about our partner that include name-calling.
It’s a downward spiral and our brain finds it almost impossible to step out of that kind of thinking.
As long as we stay in this limited state, we miss out on authentic relationships with people…especially the ones we care about most.
It keeps us trapped and small. Of course, we can be polite, but there’s little room for the expansiveness of Love.
Recognizing and speaking our storylines out loud along with
the meaning behind them and
the emotions that fuel them
morphs into compassion, presence, and connection.