Fierce love craves vulnerability. It’s messy and feels dangerous.
We fear it …. and shield our hearts while hiding in neat and tidy safe zones.
Fear is human. It’s OK. It’s normal and runs deep inside us.
Fear protected our ancestors and kept them alive.
Today, when fear comes over us….and it happens in a nano-second….we all have the same reaction: fight, flight or freeze.
These feelings amplify when we face failure in our relationship.
To cope, we deny the feelings or try to control them.
That’s when fear turns into shame and morphs into not-enough-ness.
I’m not enough. You’re not enough. We don’t have enough.
There’s a demanding side of shame too; Be more. Do more. Get more.
Shame is a relationship killer. It shuts us down and keeps us from sharing and exploring each other.
It’s OK to be afraid of losing someone you love. That moment of vulnerability is pregnant with possibility.
Shame, on the other hand, is lethal and wastes precious time.