Couples Counseling Articles

Can’t We Just Move On?

In relationships, it seems we find a temporary respite… once we figure out how to move away from an anxious moment.

We take the feeling and tuck it, stuff it, ignore it, shove it down, swallow it, absorb it, compartmentalize it, internalize it, pretend it doesn’t apply, hurt or matter.

We skillfully stiffen and blame……

Look the other way to keep from facing fears we don’t even acknowledge… or have words for.

And thanks to brilliant coping mechanisms, electronic devices, social media, 18 hour work days and a hyper-connected culture of friends… we can distract ourselves indefinitely. We call it… moving on.

But we don’t move on. Ever.

Feelings fester and it’s just a matter of time before the rage monster appears.

There is no link between emotional pain and moving on. In fact, it’s probably the polar opposite.

Feelings get stuck. Lovers get locked into a negative cycle.

When times are good, people in emotional pain… think… and wait.

Eventually things get worse.

Try moving on, if you like. Pretend if you must.

Just understand that it’s not real.

Repair and forgiveness are the only option.