Couples Counseling Articles

Connection

Some Thoughts On Relating

To relate:

  1. To bring into or establish association, connection or relation.
  2. To establish a social or sympathetic relationship with a person or thing.

Relating is for people who want to matter. In intimate partnerships it’s about protecting and supporting each other and is the essential ingredient for a fulfilling relationship.

When it’s missing, we’re disconnected and our relationships feel stuck. The stuck-ness is real. It’s undeniable truth, not just a metaphor. Stuck-ness triggers us and shows up in ways that will spin you around, take you down and drop you off in the middle of nowhere – lonely and confused.

That’s the power of emotional disconnection.

That peaceful, loving state we all strive for vanishes.

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Love and Loneliness

Creating emotional balance and safety in a topsy-turvy world seems impossible some days.

Intuitively, we know love, attention and connection are are key; everywhere present and scarce at the same time.

So we seek it. Crave it. Demand it.

While the essence of it all might just be about mastering how to give and receive it.

What we believe matters… now more than ever.

Do You Want to Make Life Better and Easier?

I’ve always been amazed at how much easier life can be when you have a supportive partner and a great relationship. At least that’s the way it is for most people and, YES, you can have that in YOUR life!

Recently we’ve had a ton of inquiries about our 1-Day Couples Intensives and we always make it a point to be straight-up and let people know who’s best suited for them.

The Wellness 1-Day Couples Intensive may be a perfect fit for you if:

  • You’re a busy couple
  • You live locally
  • You love each other and want things to be better (Not necessarily perfect; just better.)
  • You’re ready to take that huge and courageous first step
  • You like the idea of walking away at the end of the day with homework and a clear vision of what’s next

The 1-Day Couples Intensive covers 4-5 weeks of couples therapy in one day, completes our assessment/discovery phase and primes you for ongoing work with one of our amazing, caring therapists.

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You’re Invited to a Couples Workshop: 2 Days – 7 Conversations

Have you ever wondered what it means when someone says, ‘We’re drifting apart.’?

It means, “We’re loosing our connection and we don’t know how to find our way back to each other.”

Maybe you can relate. And maybe you’ve been wanting to have heart-to-heart conversations with your partner. But you come off your daily routine physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted so you put it off until the weekend.

Then during your ‘down-time’, when things are going well, the last thing you want to do is upset everyone (including yourself) by having a well-intentioned conversation spin out of control.

In your heart, you know how vital good communication is. It’s the most important skill you can learn when it comes to marriage and relationship success. It’s also the #1 presenting issue when most couples seek help for their relationship.

You can dance around things for a while. Eventually, you’re going to have to talk about the important stuff if you want closeness.

If you don’t know how to have important conversations without spinning into a negative cycle, then it’s impossible to have much security or stability in your relationship.

On the other hand, if you know how to have these conversations or you’re willing to learn, YOU can get to the heart of the matter quickly.

No matter who you are or how long you’ve been together, if you want to improve your relationship and grow closer, you must have CONVERSATIONS that get to the heart of the matter.

That’s why Wellness Counseling Center is excited to provide the most effective relationship information I know of ….all wrapped up in 2 Days and 7 Conversations.

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop – June 23 & 24, 2018
7 Conversations For You and Your Partner
Charlotte, North Carolina

Get the details: http://TheWellnessCounselingCenter.com/hmt

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What’s It Worth?

What’s an extraordinary relationship worth?

It’s worth a lot to some people but what is it worth to you?

We know the definition of the word love and we all have an idea of what a relationship ‘should’ be.

We also know what normal looks like. It’s what happens when two people get together, do things and make a pledge.

But connection is rare. It’s when we show up whole, experience the harmony of opposites and surprise ourselves in unexpected ways. It’s an experience beyond normal.

Connection isn’t loud. It creates a kind of tension that buzzes. It’s disruptive and calming at the same time. It unnerves us and feels scary as it breaks through the status quo. It’s full of power, yet has nothing to do with power-over. It changes both people; the giver and the recipient.

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Conversations Can Create Emotional Connection

I hope your holiday season was a wonderful one!

In 2018, my team and I look forward to helping you create a new vision of what’s possible – in life and in LOVE.

As a therapist and founder of Wellness Counseling Center, I’ve had the privilege of working with thousands of couples over the years.

This year, I’ve decided to share more LOVE by facilitating workshops, speaking and teaching the amazing model we use here at Wellness.

There is a shift happening in the world of relationships.

And, these radically new concepts about attachment and connection belong in the hands of people who want to be close and make their relationship better!

Deep down, it’s no surprise that communication is the #1 presenting issue with most couples.

The real question is why has it become THE MOST important skill you can learn when it comes to marriage and relationship success?

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Join us in 2018 for a Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop

Maybe things have been perking along between you for years…. and they still are.

But recently, you’ve noticed things changing and you feel a shift calling you toward a deeper connection. If you want a close intimate partnership….. and you’ll settle for nothing less…. this is your invitation.

It’s time to peek behind the curtain and explore what’s possible.

We’re getting ready for our new couples workshop starting in January and I hope you’ll join me there.

It’s a wonderful way to start the new year and this workshop is designed especially for people like you who want more out of their relationship.

If you’ve ever asked the question: What’s the ONE thing that would make life easier? The answer is usually pretty simple but hard to implement.

Hold Me Tight Couples WorkshopThis Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop provides you with new perspectives on love and the world of relationship. It’s interactive and will give you and your partner fresh insight and tools you need to shape a loving bond and a closer connection.

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Are You Over, Under or With?

Partnership is reciprocal. It’s a two way street. You talk, play, listen and engage with a partner.

Control is another matter. You are either under someone’s control or you apply control over them.

We live in a culture that endorses freedom, and at the same time, teaches people to seek out and admire the powerful. We reward powerful teachers, coaches, CEOs, celebrities and authority figures who tell us what to do. Not always consciously. It’s just the way it is. Familiar and easy.

Until it seeps into our intimate relationships and we find ourselves over or under. But not with. Blaming. Accusing. Defending. Insisting. Do it this way. Not that way. How could you? Why would you? You should…… You shouldn’t……

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The A.R.E. Trilogy: Accessible. Responsive. Engaged.

Lasting love (attraction, affection, communication, intimacy etc.) isn’t about just one thing. It’s really about three.

Accessibility: Accessibility is simply ‘Are you available?’ Can your partner reach you even when you’re upset or feeling insecure. When you start to spin, can you make sense of your emotions? Can you express yourself and share in ways that don’t blame, accuse or hold your partner responsible for the spin you’re in? When you’re spinning, you’re disconnected from yourself AND your partner.. If the spin stops, you can determine what’s going on inside. You can reconnect and tune in.

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LOVING vs. LONGING

Loving is not the same as longing.

Love is a verb….and an art form.

Like a muscle that must be used or a dance that must be danced, love gets stronger….better with practice.

  • Kindness
  • Vulnerability
  • Patience
  • Humor
  • Generosity
  • Touch
  • Gentleness

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