Couples Counseling Articles

Some Thoughts On Relating

To relate:

  1. To bring into or establish association, connection or relation.
  2. To establish a social or sympathetic relationship with a person or thing.

Relating is for people who want to matter. In intimate partnerships it’s about protecting and supporting each other and is the essential ingredient for a fulfilling relationship.

When it’s missing, we’re disconnected and our relationships feel stuck. The stuck-ness is real. It’s undeniable truth, not just a metaphor. Stuck-ness triggers us and shows up in ways that will spin you around, take you down and drop you off in the middle of nowhere – lonely and confused.

That’s the power of emotional disconnection.

That peaceful, loving state we all strive for vanishes.

When the spin begins, every cell in your body screams PROTECT YOURSELF!

When we relate in ways that dissolve differences and obstacles we head down a different path that takes us where we want to go.

Some people choose to stay distant and protect their hearts while others fight for emotional closeness. It’s a struggle most couples find themselves in yet don’t fully understand.

The old paradigm is to fall in love, work hard, negotiate the best deal and check the boxes around things accomplished and things acquired.

The new paradigm is closeness and connection.

It’s the more difficult path, but so worth it.