Couples Counseling Articles

Anne Hancock

Only For You

The story you tell yourself is true, but only for you.

We see and hear everything through our own eyes and ears.

Our brain compares what we see and hear to what we expect. Then, our brain creates stories around every interaction we have.

We form an opinion, make judgments and the story we tell ourself becomes our truth. It’s our understanding of the world. Those stories become our belief… about a person, place or situation. It’s how we make sense of things.

Continue Reading Only For You

Do You Want to Make Life Better and Easier?

I’ve always been amazed at how much easier life can be when you have a supportive partner and a great relationship. At least that’s the way it is for most people and, YES, you can have that in YOUR life!

Recently we’ve had a ton of inquiries about our 1-Day Couples Intensives and we always make it a point to be straight-up and let people know who’s best suited for them.

The Wellness 1-Day Couples Intensive may be a perfect fit for you if:

  • You’re a busy couple
  • You live locally
  • You love each other and want things to be better (Not necessarily perfect; just better.)
  • You’re ready to take that huge and courageous first step
  • You like the idea of walking away at the end of the day with homework and a clear vision of what’s next

The 1-Day Couples Intensive covers 4-5 weeks of couples therapy in one day, completes our assessment/discovery phase and primes you for ongoing work with one of our amazing, caring therapists.

Continue Reading Do You Want to Make Life Better and Easier?

Join us in 2018 for a Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop

Maybe things have been perking along between you for years…. and they still are.

But recently, you’ve noticed things changing and you feel a shift calling you toward a deeper connection. If you want a close intimate partnership….. and you’ll settle for nothing less…. this is your invitation.

It’s time to peek behind the curtain and explore what’s possible.

We’re getting ready for our new couples workshop starting in January and I hope you’ll join me there.

It’s a wonderful way to start the new year and this workshop is designed especially for people like you who want more out of their relationship.

If you’ve ever asked the question: What’s the ONE thing that would make life easier? The answer is usually pretty simple but hard to implement.

Hold Me Tight Couples WorkshopThis Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop provides you with new perspectives on love and the world of relationship. It’s interactive and will give you and your partner fresh insight and tools you need to shape a loving bond and a closer connection.

Continue Reading Join us in 2018 for a Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop

If You Can’t Name It Or Claim It… You Can’t Change It

It doesn’t help to tell your partner how much you hurt or what a disappointment they’ve been unless you’re willing to look at the whole picture.

They’ll take it as an attack and fight back with an argument or they’ll shut down. None of that works.

You can’t have a real conversation with your partner until you can agree on what happens between you. You’ve got to be willing to look at the data.

Ah-ha moments come with new insights. By seeing patterns… and recognizing how we effect each other when we dismiss, blame, criticize and ignore.

Without exploring what’s really happening, it’s impossible to accomplish much.

After all, when we don’t like what’s happening, it’s easiest to blame somebody else. “It’s not me, it’s you…” Then you’re off the hook.

Continue Reading If You Can’t Name It Or Claim It… You Can’t Change It

Choosing Chocolate

It used to be easy to choose a chocolate bar.  Sectioned milk chocolate in a brown wrapper.  Done.

Today it’s more complicated and choosing a chocolate bar has consequences – real or perceived.

  • Is the cocoa content over 70%?
  • Is it compatible with red wine?
  • Will it reduce my cortisol levels?
  • Increase blood circulation to my brain?
  • Is it gluten free?
  • USDA Organic?
  • Were the beans sustainably grown and were the growers paid a fair wage?

Continue Reading Choosing Chocolate

Post Holiday Conflicts? You’re Not Alone!

You’re grateful for the blessings in your life. Couple in conflict after the holidays

Still, the holidays probably took a toll because family issues, spending, rich foods, alcohol and all that running around — send the best of us into overdrive!

Maybe you find yourself irked that someone didn’t come thru for you or upset that you didn’t pull off the perfect Christmas – again.

You are not alone! Conflict and exhaustion are normal results of holiday frenzy and by January things can look bleak.

Continue Reading Post Holiday Conflicts? You’re Not Alone!

Searching for Connection

Love and connection seem complicated and mysterious.Peaceful Happy Couple

With it, humans thrive. Without it – not so much.

Relationship distress is a little known and unacknowledged public health issue in the United States. As a culture, we don’t think of depression, anxiety and other health issues that way.

The good news is – relationship disconnect or insecure attachment – is rapidly becoming THE issue of the 21st century.

While a definitive answer to connection eludes us, last week, after years of research and collaboration, a groundbreaking study was released. It showed, for the first time, how the brain sees and responds to threat.

Continue Reading Searching for Connection

How Masterful Couples Use Time

When you think about the relationship you truly desire, you might think…We don’t have time for that.

I read a blog recently that reminded me of the way I think about time. Then, as I listened to clients, I realized the issue is too important to keep to myself. I was going to have to write about it.

Here are just a few of the things we all say and do around time:

The kids take up all our time.
Who has the time?
Maybe we’ll do it next time.
Time passed us by.
We run out of time.
We don’t take the time.
Relationships take too much time.
We race against time.
We borrow time,
save time
use time,
spend time
and
waste time.

Continue Reading How Masterful Couples Use Time

3 Tips To Help You Avoid Painful Communication Mistakes

Making just a few small shifts in your communication patterns can be very powerful in connecting with others. Great communication skills help you:

  • avoid conflict.
  • get what you want.
  • improve relationships.
  • make it easier for people to hear you and understand you.Communication

Verbal and non-verbal communication allows humans to relate in ways that deepen relationships and create connection. The better you communicate the more profound and fulfilling your relationships become.

Continue Reading 3 Tips To Help You Avoid Painful Communication Mistakes