Helping People Connect
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Most couples want to improve their communication. And, now more than ever, it’s good to be precise.
Clear, unambiguous language is better than expecting people to interpret your gestures, read your mind or guess what you want.
When you ask for what you need from the creative and powerful stance of vulnerability, tenderness and love, your partner can hear you.
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
How you tune in is how you Love.
You can take that as a statement, a suggestion or the opportunity of a lifetime.
How you tune in is how you live.
Can you stay present when you see pain in her eyes?
Can you hear her gasp for your tenderness?
Can you feel his pain when a good man says, I don’t know how to make you happy?
Only by tuning in. Observing. Honoring the longing.
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
We say we want tenderness…
but display toughness instead.
We say we want closeness and affection…
but give the cold shoulder or ask for space.
We say we want the truth…
and then bristle, cry or shut the other person down when what we hear differs from our point of view.
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Lasting love (attraction, affection, communication, intimacy etc.) isn’t about just one thing. It’s really about three.
Accessibility: Accessibility is simply ‘Are you available?’ Can your partner reach you even when you’re upset or feeling insecure. When you start to spin, can you make sense of your emotions? Can you express yourself and share in ways that don’t blame, accuse or hold your partner responsible for the spin you’re in? When you’re spinning, you’re disconnected from yourself AND your partner.. If the spin stops, you can determine what’s going on inside. You can reconnect and tune in.
Continue Reading The A.R.E. Trilogy: Accessible. Responsive. Engaged.
