Couples Counseling Articles

Perception

These Essentials Are The Solution… But They’re Not For Everyone

Problems are conflicts of ideas and perception.

I may have an idea and see things one way. That means something to me.

My partner sees things another way….. that means something to him.

There’s a good possibility we’ll fuss over it.

This kind of conflict happens to all couples and most often…..we move on.

Because most problems are uninteresting and work themselves out.

But there are times when a couple gets stuck in a conversation that goes around in circles.

It’s a never ending cycle and can be about something major….or seemingly insignificant.

A negative pattern can develop in the relationship that is so profound, it brings up dread.

Oh, no. Here we go again!

Once embedded in the relationship, this cyclical pattern can go on for years, even decades.

Try deflecting it with silence or politeness and it works for a while.

Then comes the inevitable jab.

It hurts.

For lots of people, it’s easier to just take the jab; stay quiet and wait.

It keeps things tidy. It also keeps things from getting better.

The ultimate solution requires courage; taking off the mask and stepping into possibility.

It involves taking risks and speaking up….simply….creatively.

These are the essentials that get us UNSTUCK and move things forward.

And this is where we find passion, connection, emotional safety and trust.

Choosing Chocolate

It used to be easy to choose a chocolate bar.  Sectioned milk chocolate in a brown wrapper.  Done.

Today it’s more complicated and choosing a chocolate bar has consequences – real or perceived.

  • Is the cocoa content over 70%?
  • Is it compatible with red wine?
  • Will it reduce my cortisol levels?
  • Increase blood circulation to my brain?
  • Is it gluten free?
  • USDA Organic?
  • Were the beans sustainably grown and were the growers paid a fair wage?

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