Couples Counseling Articles

Intimacy

Love and Relationship Principles

Relationship core principles are not tools, rules or methods that are set in stone.

And this is really important…  

They’re a framework for loving that we can adapt and make our own.  

  • Availability
  • Kindness
  • Curiosity
  • Presence
  • Engagement
  • Listening
  • Generosity
  • Responsiveness
  • Patience
  • Acceptance

As concepts, they’re so simple that we might scoff and brush them off as ‘fortune cookie wisdom’. 

But applying them every day… in a life dedicated to incorporating loving qualities…well…that’s where we are all challenged.

Still, we try. 

We set out each morning with the best intentions…and for whatever reason, things rarely work out as planned.

In our head we see ourselves as kind and loving, yet we can end up feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, invisible…and frustrated.

The important thing to remember is these principles are guides.

They are a definitive way to approach a relationship and function in the world.

The key is doing; not merely imagining or thinking about them on a conceptual level.

It’s Love…yes with a capital L…when we live them.

It’s LOVE when we  do them…implement and experience them…rather than think about them.

It also takes a ton of practice.

The A.R.E. Trilogy: Accessible. Responsive. Engaged.

Lasting love (attraction, affection, communication, intimacy etc.) isn’t about just one thing. It’s really about three.

Accessibility: Accessibility is simply ‘Are you available?’ Can your partner reach you even when you’re upset or feeling insecure. When you start to spin, can you make sense of your emotions? Can you express yourself and share in ways that don’t blame, accuse or hold your partner responsible for the spin you’re in? When you’re spinning, you’re disconnected from yourself AND your partner.. If the spin stops, you can determine what’s going on inside. You can reconnect and tune in.

Continue Reading The A.R.E. Trilogy: Accessible. Responsive. Engaged.