You know it’s coming. The dreaded argument. Not with anyone but with the person you love the most in the world.
It’s happened before and it’s happening again.
Something’s triggered your internal alarm system.
Maybe it’s the way s/he moves, a tone of voice, a facial expression.
It can be as subtle as a single word.
It’s real. It’s powerful. It feels like a trap. Sometimes it feels like quicksand and you vow not to get sucked in. Not this time.
But before you finish the thought – it touches a raw spot in you the size of Texas.
In one split second everything inside collapses or bubbles up in frustration, confusion and anger.
This moment of vulnerability is in all of us and we will do just about anything to avoid it; ignore, get busy, leave, defend, work late – build walls around our hearts.
It’s a paradox because all that effort to avoid pain, shrinks our ability to give and receive love.
The same walls we build to keep us safe, also create loneliness and isolation – leaving us numb and alone.
We can hide behind the walls or we can lean in. Dismantle them. Use them. Build bridges instead.
That’s the work.