Wellness Counseling Center

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Couples Counseling Articles

Bea Germinario ACC

5 Tips for Courage, Compassion, Conviction and Celebration on the Side

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2020 has been a year!

Here are 5 super quick tips on how to share all the courage, compassion and conviction you can muster…along with some year-end celebration on the side.

  1. Acknowledge Your Team: In 2020, simply entering your workplace presented an element of danger. Working from home has been isolating. Your team is weary and needs YOU and your leadership. Stay connected. They may be overwhelmed and they’ll appreciate your compassion and your presence.
  • Inform daily.
  • Answer questions.
  • Listen to their concerns.
  • Show appreciation.

Neuroscience tells us the brain always wants to know: How am I doing? and What’s next?

  1. Assure Your Customers & Partners: Key stakeholders have similar needs. Assurance that you’re doing as much as you reasonably can.…that you’ll be there and that you’ll provide timely information is a golden opportunity to strengthen your bond and build trust.
  • Use candor.
  • Solidify your relationships.
  • Be responsive and engaged.

Have the courage to let credibility and trust be your North Star.

  1. Pace over Perfection: It’s time to move…thoughtfully, swiftly and confidently. Triage:
  • What do we absolutely need to implement?
  • What are our most critical functions?
  • What can wait and for how long?

Then shape your new reality with conviction. Communicate, connect, collaborate and make your moves. Adjust as needed. Stay nimble and strive for excellence (which is not to be confused with perfection!)

  1. Let Crisis be Your Teacher: Difficult events are transformative. New ideas emerge. Long held beliefs are challenged. Legacy thinking suddenly appears too rigid or entrenched. Don’t stress. Instead, ask:
  • What do I need to learn here?
  • What is this crisis here to teach me?

Others, (including your kids) have probably been wondering when you’d step into the 21st century. Welcome!

  1. Give Yourself Oxygen: Take care of yourself,.
  • Stay healthy.
  • Rest, eat well, exercise.
  • Above all else…Celebrate!

You did it! They did it! Congratulations! Well done!

Now, it’s time to give yourself a much needed and well-deserved rest so you can show up fully present in the New Year.

Your leadership is needed now more than ever!

What’s The New Workplace Imperative?

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Humans are complicated and yet…we’re not, really.

We like to think of ourselves as strictly rational beings.

But at the end of the day neuroscience tells us we are driven first… by emotions.

A better understanding of brain science (and our experiences with it) helps us be more in tune with ourselves and others.

Turns out, emotions play a huge role in helping us reach our full potential.

Emotions drive our thoughts and behaviors.

Ultimately, people perform based on how they feel.

How does it feel to work in your organization?

Under the circumstances of 2020, most of us carry on with our lives as best we can.

While we outwardly joke about it…most of us quietly wonder what’s in store for 2021.

What changes are ahead? What will stay the same?

Work, home-school, kids, parenting, care-giving…. routines are beginning to look “normal” again…on the surface.

Most of us are getting enough sleep, working out and eating well.

Still, things feel different and not quite right.

So, what’s going on?

As I see it, we’re experiencing a flood of different emotions every day and don’t quite know what to call them…how to talk about them…or process them.

These universal human emotions… like overwhelm, reactivity, fog, sadness, confusion, fear, anger…and grief are uncomfortable and for many of us…new.

They’re also unfamiliar and when we experience them it’s common to ruminate and slip into critical thoughts and negativity.

Then, when self-criticism slips in, we’re off and running with catastrophic thinking.

The first thing to do is stop. Take a deep breath and know this is completely normal.

It’s the fight or flight response at work and even though there are no lions or tigers chasing us, the ancient cellular structure of our bodies and brains kick in.…trying to protect us.

We’re hardwired to avoid danger.

So, what to do when we’re in this swirl of thoughts and emotions?

I like to stop and lean into the feelings.

I notice the sensations in my body and acknowledge them with as much compassion as I can muster.

In The Guest House, Rumi the 13th century Persian poet, reminds us not to resist the thoughts and emotions passing through us but to meet them with courage, warmth, and respect.

And what does this have to do with leadership?

Today’s cutting-edge leader, has the opportunity to grow and support others in this new and uncertain environment.

It starts with the willingness to be candid about our own experiences and give others the space to do the same. And, it all comes together through meaningful conversations with our team that reduce fear, increase trust and build human connection.

This is the New Workplace Imperative.

If you would like to know more about applying the principles of Emotional Safety and Trust with your team, click here to read more:

https://EmotionalSafetyandTrust.com

Time to Lean In and Get Started

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2020 is coming to a close (did I really just say that?).

So much has changed..and NOT as I might have imagined.

The events of this year not only changed the way we work and live…they also changed us.

Team members who went home in March are not the same people who left the workplace…with their desktops… on a moment’s notice.

I think about this profound change and human resilience a lot.

I think a lot about how this rapid change has affected me…my work…my family…my world.

Across the country and world-wide, knowledge-workers rallied and set up offices at home with the speed and efficiency never seen before….and we have all been impacted.

We’ve had new experiences and seen things we cannot un-see, un-hear or un-know.

  • Have you taken time to reflect on your own experience?
  • Do you know how your team members are doing?
  • Do you know how they’ve been impacted?
  • Are you clear about what they need, think and feel?

Probably not, because as a rule, people aren’t comfortable talking about these things openly; especially their emotional well-being. As a leader, you may not feel comfortable asking.

And it’s hard to know how wide the gap is between what you think is going on and what people know to be true in their own lives.

We know organizations depend on people and it’s clear…. from this point forward…those that lead with a People-First philosophy will stand out and win.

Engaging people and creating Emotional Safety and Trust in the workplace will be considered table-stakes for survival.

That means it’s important to build a culture by having sometimes uncomfortable conversations that create emotional safety, reduce fear, increase trust and build human connection.

As we lean into these courageous conversations and build strong bonds between people we create winning cultures that attract and retain the best talent.

Today, cutting-edge leaders understand there’s a direct correlation between connection and belonging, and the human ability to be effective, high-performing and engaged.

This is great news!

It’s also the new workplace imperative…because without this very basic understanding and application, cultures will continue to focus on symptoms without addressing the root cause of what’s really going on.

It’s time to lean in, roll up our sleeves and get started.

If you would like to know more about applying the principles of Emotional Safety and Trust with your team, click here to read more:

https://EmotionalSafetyandTrust.com

The New Leadership Imperative

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Like you and millions around the globe, I feel the magnitude of our current situation in many ways, in particular, in my role as a Coach. My clients are amazing leaders and professionals who are in crisis mode like never before. I stand with them, by them and in support of them. Having personally led teams thru the Y2k, 9-11 and housing crises, I know too well that this is beyond turbulent. It requires every ounce of will and determination, trust and faith in yourself and those around you.

If ever there was a time to step up as a leader…it’s now. If ever there was a more unsettled and confusing time to be a leader…it’s also now. We are being tested and challenged like never before in modern history.

I completely understand how scary a time like this is. We have no playbook because this is different. During 9-11 we could see the devastation of the Twin Towers, the soot on the faces of thousands of New Yorkers, the fires and the horrific images that are associated with that tragedy. This enemy we face today is invisible, and it’s unsettling.

You are being called upon to make split second decisions with information that is, at best incomplete, and changing in an instant, and at worst, incorrect because it’s unclear who the experts are and what the latest update is. I see it and feel it deeply both in my heart and in my gut.

Your people, your teams, your boards, your clients, customers & families…and other key stakeholders like suppliers, vendors & colleagues are looking to you. The stakes are high and you need the courage to lead. You’re all in this together…and…at the same time, you’re feeling more alone than ever. Everyone is.

What choice but to Lead with courage, conviction and compassion? If not you, then who?

Starting today, I will provide timely and helpful tips to help you lead courageously and navigate these murky and uncharted waters. Follow along for regular Tips and Ideas on how to be the best Leader you can be.

1. Your Team: Working remotely or temporary layoffs are very isolating. Remote workers suffer from depression at higher rates because of it. Stay connected thru regular 1-on-1’s (via phone or video conference) and conduct weekly team calls (via phone or zoom) to keep people informed, answer questions, understand their concerns and state of mind, and provide reassurance and support.

2. Key Customers/Partners: These stakeholders are your lifeblood. Trust that they are more forgiving in a crisis and believe that humanity prevails. What they need is assurance: Assurance that you are doing as much as you reasonably can. That you’ll be there. That you will provide timely information and candor. This is an opportunity to further build and solidify relationships. They need to know that:

  • You care. You are there; responsive & engaged. They will find comfort that you care enough to call and tell them what is going on.
  • It’s NOT business as usual and while they would not or should not expect it to be, knowing you’re doing everything to keep things running will build credibility, and trust. These are foundational for any relationship – business or personal.
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