Helping People Connect
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
We say we want tenderness…
but display toughness instead.
We say we want closeness and affection…
but give the cold shoulder or ask for space.
We say we want the truth…
and then bristle, cry or shut the other person down when what we hear differs from our point of view.
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Lasting love (attraction, affection, communication, intimacy etc.) isn’t about just one thing. It’s really about three.
Accessibility: Accessibility is simply ‘Are you available?’ Can your partner reach you even when you’re upset or feeling insecure. When you start to spin, can you make sense of your emotions? Can you express yourself and share in ways that don’t blame, accuse or hold your partner responsible for the spin you’re in? When you’re spinning, you’re disconnected from yourself AND your partner.. If the spin stops, you can determine what’s going on inside. You can reconnect and tune in.
Continue Reading The A.R.E. Trilogy: Accessible. Responsive. Engaged.
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
When you think about the relationship you truly desire, you might think…We don’t have time for that.
I read a blog recently that reminded me of the way I think about time. Then, as I listened to clients, I realized the issue is too important to keep to myself. I was going to have to write about it.
Here are just a few of the things we all say and do around time:
The kids take up all our time.
Who has the time?
Maybe we’ll do it next time.
Time passed us by.
We run out of time.
We don’t take the time.
Relationships take too much time.
We race against time.
We borrow time,
save time
use time,
spend time
and
waste time.
