Couples Counseling Articles

2020

Working From Bed

After binge watching The Crown a while back, I read that Winston Churchill frequently ran Britain from bed.

He’d stay there till 1pm with his typewriter and Scotch, reading and firing off memos to his ministers.

I’ve always loved that idea and considering where we are these days…..I can tell you…..it’s …awesome!

It’s also luxurious and feels REALLY GOOD. (Minus the Scotch – ONLY because I can’t consume alcohol and work at the same time!)

Where is she going with this?…. you ask.

Well…..I want to remind you, that love and connection feel REALLY GOOD too!

If that feel-good sensation is missing in your relationship, consider this…..

It’s always confusing when partners experience emotional pain AND profess to love each other.

Look a little closer and you’ll notice a sense of unsafe-ness or lack of trust. It happens when we feel

  • Judged
  • Invisible
  • Unappreciated
  • Unheard
  • Rejected
  • Overwhelmed
  • Not-good enough or
  • Shamed.

It’s also there when we feel

  • Hurt
  • Abandoned
  • Unimportant
  • Unwanted
  • Isolated
  • Alone
  • Disconnected or
  • Desperate.

ALL of these emotions are real and reflect a lack of emotional safety and trust.

This is when our hearts hurt, our brains light up like Christmas trees and our central nervous system goes into overdrive.

This is a UNIVERSAL human experience….and happens automatically when we feel unsafe.

Our bodies (and our brains) respond with the Fight, Flight or Freeze response.

No matter who we are, what we do for a living or where we come from…. our brains and hearts ALWAYS want to know:

  • Are you there for me?
  • Am I safe with you?
  • How are we doing?
  • What’s next? and
  • Where do we go from here?

If the answer to any of these questions is ambiguous or a flat out ’No’…… bad things start to happen….from the inside out.

This year, more than any other, our emotions and reactions have been on steroids.

So give yourself – and those around you – a break.

Do whatever you need to do and make mental Wellness YOUR top priority for 2021.

That means committing to self-care by…

  • Getting enough sleep.
  • Eating clean food.
  • Hydrating often.
  • Moving your body.
  • Tapping into wisdom.
  • Having a spiritual connection and…. above all else
  • Cultivating relationships.

If you can’t do them all – then simply pick ONE and start.

This crazy, crisis-filled year has been a challenge for everyone – including the entire Wellness Team!

  • We’ve learned a lot and Self-Care is one of the things we’re keenly aware of – now more than ever.
  • That’s why I want to share a few important details with you before taking my own, personal long-awaited and well-deserved time off.

Our offices will have very limited coverage beginning Monday December 21 thru Friday, January 1 inclusive. We will be back at our desks Monday January 4. We will check email and return calls during that time – but on a very limited basis.

Because what we do is so important to our clients and their families, it’s a priority for the Wellness team to take some solid time to rest and celebrate with our own families.

Please plan accordingly.

We appreciate YOU more than words can say and want only the BEST for you.

We wish you a wonderful Holiday Season and encourage you to take good care of your (PRECIOUS) self and the people you care about!

Stay safe and stay healthy!

FATIGUE IS REAL: Zoom Fatigue. Decision Fatigue. Pandemic Fatigue.

An HBR study of companies reporting high levels of exhaustion among their employees found Zoom fatigue, decision fatigue and pandemic fatigue to be very real!

The exhaustion, however, was caused by something unexpected.

People were exhausted because they were…lonely.

That’s what was bubbling up for people; feelings of fatigue and exhaustion coming from a sense of loneliness and isolation. I see it around me and the feelings of isolation are palpable.

We distance to protect ourselves, our family and friends.

It seems counter-intuitive and there are (or will be) real consequences to our relationships and emotional well-being.

As leaders, we get the sense that our team members are disconnected and feeling alone too as they face many challenges in front of them.

Most people are not talking very much about their emotional and psychological well-being.

Most leaders aren’t comfortable asking either. That’s the dilemma.

The most caring, cutting-edge leaders believe it’s vitally important to know how wide the gap is between what we think is going on and what’s really happening in people’s emotional lives.

When you are equipped to have these meaningful and sometimes uncomfortable conversations, people respond. Teams learn to trust and support each other. Together you build a culture others want to be part of.

That’s why we’ve embarked on offering Emotional Safety and Trust: The New Workplace Imperative as an online course. It’s a place where leaders will learn more about conducting meaningful conversations and using that knowledge with confidence.

If you would like to know more about applying the principles of Emotional Safety and Trust with your team, click here to read more:

https://EmotionalSafetyandTrust.com