Couples Counseling Articles

How To Create a Relationship Everyone Will Envy!

Human beings want to be valued and admired but creating a relationshipCouples in conversation with other people in mind is a bad idea.

If you want your relationship to make others green with envy…

Rule #1:  Don’t do it!  

Building a relationship intended to

•    satisfy someone else,
•    ‘show’ someone,
•    out-do someone or
•    impress someone

ensures distress and unhappiness.

The best approach is to design a relationship that’s right for you — and one other person.  Create connection with the one person that’s important to you.

And, be sure that person considers you important too!

Rule #2:  Care and repair.

Care enough about each other that when there’s a disconnect, you both want it repaired as quickly as possible.

When reconnecting with your partner proves too difficult, both people should have trouble sleeping.

Research shows that when a distressed couple decides to get help for their relationship — on average – it’s been 6 years since the onset of the problem.

A lot of damage can happen in 6 years!

Rule #3:  Identify the relationship’s Purpose. Identify the relationship’s Purpose

We’re in new terrain today and following your heart has broader meaning.  A vibrant 21st century relationship must include Purpose.  (Yes. That’s Purpose with a capital ‘P’.)

Love is delicious, wonderful and essential but it’s not enough to hold people together.

Identifying a relationship’s Purpose means exploring and supporting each other’s dreams – personal and professional!  If you’ve been together for years, no worries, you and your partner can co-create a brand new relationship.

The key is alignment.

You know you’re in alignment when your passion and the impact you want to make in the world is in sync with the effect or impact your partner wants to make.

And — you support each other.

How you use your lives (together and apart) will define the quality and Purpose of the relationship. Purpose generally presents itself through soul-fulfilling work. Just know, purpose and passion are not always the same as making a living.  What is it for you?

•    Making a difference by raising thoughtful children?
•    Serving people through community service?
•    Creating jobs by launching and growing a business?
•    Knowing God and sharing with others?
•    Ensuring world peace by travelling the globe?
•    Bringing joy to others through art?
•    Creating beauty while planting urban gardens?
•    Empowering youth by teaching in developing countries? or
•    Enhancing lives with music?

If you’re not sure, now is a great time to explore.

•    What’s your passion?
•    What’s your partner’s passion?
•    How do you support each other?
•    Are your hopes and dreams in alignment?  
•    How does the relationship serve you? / Your partner? and
•    What’s the Purpose of your relationship?

If you and your partner are connected, are in alignment — and your relationship has a Purpose — the rest will take care of itself.