Couples Counseling Articles

Love Power and Science

I believe in Love.Love Power and Science

I believe in its power and I believe Love is a source for all-good.

I believe in Loves’ ability to heal.

It confuses and appears dangerous at times, yet it is vital to our physical and emotional well-being.

Everyone needs it, wants it, longs for it and will do just about anything to get it.

Isn’t it odd then, that in this millennium, an age of non-stop social interaction, nuclear fission and living in space stations…..the world knows precious little about Love?

When asked about Love, most people are a bit lost. They fumble with words, associate it with happiness and ultimately draw a blank.

It seems our entire culture is organized around finding Love. First you spend a lot of time and energy attracting a life partner. Then, if you’re fortunate enough to find that person, culture tells you to proclaim yourself ‘independent’, put your partner on hold, switch priorities and get busy with other things.

After all, we live in a 24/7 world and who has time for relationships anyhow?

Daily tasks of living take over and a relationship starts to look like one huge self-perpetuating cycle of struggle.

Attention and energy begin to flow in opposite directions, patterns develop, lovers drift apart and distress sets in.

If this sounds remotely familiar, here’s the litmus test:

The most accurate evidence of distress in a relationship is a feeling of distance or loneliness.

It’s all very perplexing and people who Love each other often wonder “How did this happen?” OR “How did we get here?”

Lucky for us, science provides a new understanding of Love confirming, not only that it is essential, but that it’s also understandable, adaptable and repairable.

Now we know, even the most distressed couples can repair their relationship if they’re coached to deal with their emotions just a little differently. This is why Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (the method we use at Wellness) is so successful.

There’s more good news.

Cutting edge research in neuro-science helps us make sense of Love as a survival code. We are always monitoring to see if our loved one is emotionally accessible, responsive and engaged with us.

This is connection and the brain is forever tuning in for it.

In fact, our mammalian brain is exquisitely hard-wired to read and respond to others.

Becoming aware of this extraordinary capacity while depending on and being there for another person requires enormous strength and courage.

The new science tells us there’s nothing weak or wimpy about Love — and in the end — Love and connection matter most.

Take action now. Reach out, connect and share with someone you Love.