Couples Counseling Articles

On Blame

Underneath anger is fear. But until that’s clear to us…I mean really clear…we blame.

Blame is a way of dumping anger.

Here. You take it.” Is essentially what the blamer is saying.

Most often, the receiver picks it up and throws it right back.

Now you have a blamer’s tennis match and the longer it lasts, the harsher it gets.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

There are no points for nastiness and no trophies for blamers who inflict pain. It lacks honor. It requires zero bravery, courage or skill.

Shared anger destroys truth, erodes trust and squeezes the love out of any relationship.

What do you do with your anger?