Helping People Connect
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Intimate partners who want to spend a lifetime together usually profess unconditional love.
They long for it too – wanting certainty and affirmative answers to questions like:
Problem is, certainty is binary and requires 100%.
Open / Closed
Up / Down
On / Off
In / Out
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
All long-term relationships have challenges and every now and then things can approach a tipping point. That’s a red flag – it’s time to reflect, take action and turn things right side up again.
People rarely want to leave their relationship. Most people want to figure things out. They want to make things better.
People ask; Is this possible? Can this / will this work? And mostly, the answer is YES!
When you’re looking for professional help it’s important to be an informed consumer. Approach the decision together; thoughtfully and collaboratively.
Here are three simple steps to guide you through the process of making a choice that is good for you AND good for your relationship:
Continue Reading 3 Steps To Turning Your Relationship Right Side Up – Again
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Some couples spend an enormous amount of energy trying to get their partner to comply.
You know it’s happening when the ‘shoulding’ starts.
You shouldn’t load the dishwasher that way.
You should be happy I loaded it.
Your apology doesn’t sound sincere. You should say it like this….
Continue Reading The Huge Gap Between Should-ing and Share-ing
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Now and then I reflect on something I heard John Gottmann say.
Gottman is one of the worlds leading researchers on marriage and I’m paraphrasing the man but, in essence, he said:
When it comes to couples and long-term committed relationships, there are the Masters, the Disasters……. and then there’s everyone in between…… brailling their way through.
Continue Reading The Masters, The Disasters and Everyone in Between
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
A friend popped by my office recently to say hello and drop off a bouquet of flowers – for no particular reason! She stayed only a minute reminding me that every act and every word hold the seed of possibility to change a person’s whole life – for better or worse.
The way we cultivate our relationships determines the life we get to live. Relationships give us direct and immediate feedback of who we are and how we show up in the world. Connection is the key for a great outcome.
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
I believe in Love.
I believe in its power and I believe Love is a source for all-good.
I believe in Loves’ ability to heal.
It confuses and appears dangerous at times, yet it is vital to our physical and emotional well-being.
Everyone needs it, wants it, longs for it and will do just about anything to get it.
Isn’t it odd then, that in this millennium, an age of non-stop social interaction, nuclear fission and living in space stations…..the world knows precious little about Love?
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Why would anyone want to look at a troubled relationship when it’s so much easier to look the other way? Denial can be a wonderful thing, for a while.
In a distressed relationship, you do your best each day…to put the hurt away…hoping things will be better tomorrow.
When times are tough, you braille your way through the difficult terrain – sometimes with the advice of co-workers or girlfriends…but mostly…it’s a solitary journey and folks go it alone.
Continue Reading 3 Sure Signs That Signal A Distressed Relationship
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
When you think about the relationship you truly desire, you might think…We don’t have time for that.
I read a blog recently that reminded me of the way I think about time. Then, as I listened to clients, I realized the issue is too important to keep to myself. I was going to have to write about it.
Here are just a few of the things we all say and do around time:
The kids take up all our time.
Who has the time?
Maybe we’ll do it next time.
Time passed us by.
We run out of time.
We don’t take the time.
Relationships take too much time.
We race against time.
We borrow time,
save time
use time,
spend time
and
waste time.
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Making just a few small shifts in your communication patterns can be very powerful in connecting with others. Great communication skills help you:
Verbal and non-verbal communication allows humans to relate in ways that deepen relationships and create connection. The better you communicate the more profound and fulfilling your relationships become.
Continue Reading 3 Tips To Help You Avoid Painful Communication Mistakes
| By Anne Hancock, Psy.D.
Humans are generally happiest when their intimate
relationships go well and they’re distressed when they don’t.
It’s not unusual to get anxious or depressed enough to seek help.
Back in the day, old-school thinking propelled individuals into counseling for three basic reasons…
1) We wanted someone (other than family) to understand our situation and tell us what to do.
2) We wanted to clear our head and get our act together BEFORE getting into another relationship.
3) We sent our partner to therapy so they could get their act together!
Continue Reading The #1 Tool You Need to Fix Your Relationship
