Couples Counseling Articles

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Something Brand New is Emerging

Not terribly long ago almost everyone grew their own food and wove their own cloth.

Then, fueled by the discovery of steam power, the Industrial Revolution burst onto the scene around 1750.

It continued through the 1800’s as a Technological Revolution brought us scientific innovation and mass production.

The 1900’s ushered in the Information Age, quantum physics and, by the early 2000’s we all witnessed the Digital Revolution as it permeated our lives.

Today we have a boundless universe of information at our fingertips, an obesity epidemic and far more stuff than we can ever use.

On social media we stage, enhance and perform our lives for other’s consumption while we tally clicks, likes and friends.

Yes, the internet connects us in many ways yet the technology that was supposed to ‘save’ us time instead has us time-starved and drowning in digital soup.

Simultaneously, loneliness is near universal and considered the #1 public health risk in North America.

As I see it, there’s another revolution emerging; one that will transform us and our planet.

It will take work as we toggle back and forth between joy and pain, commit to be better humans and learn to love well.

Care to join me?

What’s The New Workplace Imperative?

Humans are complicated and yet…we’re not, really.

We like to think of ourselves as strictly rational beings.

But at the end of the day neuroscience tells us we are driven first… by emotions.

A better understanding of brain science (and our experiences with it) helps us be more in tune with ourselves and others.

Turns out, emotions play a huge role in helping us reach our full potential.

Emotions drive our thoughts and behaviors.

Ultimately, people perform based on how they feel.

How does it feel to work in your organization?

Under the circumstances of 2020, most of us carry on with our lives as best we can.

While we outwardly joke about it…most of us quietly wonder what’s in store for 2021.

What changes are ahead? What will stay the same?

Work, home-school, kids, parenting, care-giving…. routines are beginning to look “normal” again…on the surface.

Most of us are getting enough sleep, working out and eating well.

Still, things feel different and not quite right.

So, what’s going on?

As I see it, we’re experiencing a flood of different emotions every day and don’t quite know what to call them…how to talk about them…or process them.

These universal human emotions… like overwhelm, reactivity, fog, sadness, confusion, fear, anger…and grief are uncomfortable and for many of us…new.

They’re also unfamiliar and when we experience them it’s common to ruminate and slip into critical thoughts and negativity.

Then, when self-criticism slips in, we’re off and running with catastrophic thinking.

The first thing to do is stop. Take a deep breath and know this is completely normal.

It’s the fight or flight response at work and even though there are no lions or tigers chasing us, the ancient cellular structure of our bodies and brains kick in.…trying to protect us.

We’re hardwired to avoid danger.

So, what to do when we’re in this swirl of thoughts and emotions?

I like to stop and lean into the feelings.

I notice the sensations in my body and acknowledge them with as much compassion as I can muster.

In The Guest House, Rumi the 13th century Persian poet, reminds us not to resist the thoughts and emotions passing through us but to meet them with courage, warmth, and respect.

And what does this have to do with leadership?

Today’s cutting-edge leader, has the opportunity to grow and support others in this new and uncertain environment.

It starts with the willingness to be candid about our own experiences and give others the space to do the same. And, it all comes together through meaningful conversations with our team that reduce fear, increase trust and build human connection.

This is the New Workplace Imperative.


If you would like to know more about applying the principles of Emotional Safety and Trust with your team, click here to read more:

https://EmotionalSafetyandTrust.com

Time to Lean In and Get Started

2020 is coming to a close (did I really just say that?).

So much has changed..and NOT as I might have imagined.

The events of this year not only changed the way we work and live…they also changed us.

Team members who went home in March are not the same people who left the workplace…with their desktops… on a moment’s notice.

I think about this profound change and human resilience a lot.

I think a lot about how this rapid change has affected me…my work…my family…my world.

Across the country and world-wide, knowledge-workers rallied and set up offices at home with the speed and efficiency never seen before….and we have all been impacted.

We’ve had new experiences and seen things we cannot un-see, un-hear or un-know.

  • Have you taken time to reflect on your own experience?
  • Do you know how your team members are doing?
  • Do you know how they’ve been impacted?
  • Are you clear about what they need, think and feel?

Probably not, because as a rule, people aren’t comfortable talking about these things openly; especially their emotional well-being. As a leader, you may not feel comfortable asking.

And it’s hard to know how wide the gap is between what you think is going on and what people know to be true in their own lives.

We know organizations depend on people and it’s clear…. from this point forward…those that lead with a People-First philosophy will stand out and win.

Engaging people and creating Emotional Safety and Trust in the workplace will be considered table-stakes for survival.

That means it’s important to build a culture by having sometimes uncomfortable conversations that create emotional safety, reduce fear, increase trust and build human connection.

As we lean into these courageous conversations and build strong bonds between people we create winning cultures that attract and retain the best talent.

Today, cutting-edge leaders understand there’s a direct correlation between connection and belonging, and the human ability to be effective, high-performing and engaged.

This is great news!

It’s also the new workplace imperative…because without this very basic understanding and application, cultures will continue to focus on symptoms without addressing the root cause of what’s really going on.

It’s time to lean in, roll up our sleeves and get started.


If you would like to know more about applying the principles of Emotional Safety and Trust with your team, click here to read more:

https://EmotionalSafetyandTrust.com

Are you swimming in the dark?

Even if you’re a great swimmer, you cannot see what’s ahead of you if you’re swimming in the dark. The path forward is unclear and more than a little scary. 

Leading in 2020 feels a lot like swimming in the dark. 

I believe that the acceleration of everything around us coupled with paralyzing uncertainty is forcing us to think, feel and act differently. And, to lead more courageously. 

It is more important than ever to challenge not only our thinking but our beliefs; preconceived notions of success, of the way things get done and the conversations that we have. 

As a leader, applying tried and true techniques hoping to inspire your team to perform and achieve results may be leaving you flat; as if something’s missing. Our trusted and familiar skill-set is our default…yet is proving ineffective in today’s environment. 

There’s a sense of disconnect with our teams. Some days even despondence. Old methods don’t seem to apply. 

The world has changed. We’ve changed. 

One thing I know for sure is that that disconnected employees statistically underperform; negatively affecting the customer experience, revenue & profits, your operation and culture. 

Bottom line, people perform based on how they feel.

What scientists know for sure today is that humans are hardwired for connection and …emotions drive behavior and performance. 

To positively impact engagement and other key performance indicators, this basic human understanding about our need for connection is foundational everywhere including the workplace. 

It needs the attention of leadership – at every level. 

How do your employees feel? It’s an uncomfortable question and sometimes difficult to talk about what’s really going on. Why? Because conversations like this require courage and for many, a new skill set. 

They require a new mind-set too because these conversations on the surface are usually pretty simple but difficult to implement. They require leaders to step into new and unfamiliar territory. 

The path to building a new culture of engagement and high performance starts you; with powerful yet uncomfortable conversations that reduce fear and build human connection. 

That’s why we’ve embarked on a new initiative – to focus on conversations that build Emotional Safety and Trust. We call it, The New Workplace Imperative

I do believe it’s time to lean into and facilitate some simple, illuminating conversations in the workplace that get to the heart of the matter. 

People want to know it’s safe to speak up and be curious, to make mistakes and to be vulnerable. They want to fit in and be a contributing member of the team, yet they may not know how. 

They’re likely to be swimming in dark waters too. 

This is a moment when leaders can build a culture, together with their team, through creative, game-changing conversations that reduce fear, increase trust and build human connections. 

When people feel connected, they feel safe…they can be creative, innovative and try new things.

This is the new emerging paradigm of PEOPLE FIRSTperformance, productivity and profit will follow

If this inspires you and you’d like to connect with other like-minded leaders to know more about Emotional Safety and Trust: The New Workplace Imperative, please visit: 

https://EmotionalSafetyAndTrust.com

We’ll be talking about this a lot in the new year!