Couples Counseling Articles

future

Space and Relationships

When I saw the NASA Webb images last month, I felt a deep sense of humility.

This new chapter of scientific exploration takes my breath away and some things came into focus….things I probably should have understood but didn’t.

Not really.

Here’s what became clear for me:

  • In the scheme of things, Earth is remarkably insignificant. (But it’s all we’ve got.)
  • In our own lives, we typically think of empty time and space as unproductive – something to be used or filled as quicky as possible.
  • By filling time and space to capacity, we lose sight of ourselves.
  • We’re on autopilot, busy and distracted.
  • On the rare occasion when we pause, we find it uncomfortable rather than delicious.

In fact, it can be unnerving and can affect our relationships deeply.

We search for something to say….something to do. Anything to avoid the emptiness.

What if, instead, we viewed empty time and space as a cauldron of creative potential…. something that deserves our attention.

Devotion.

Once we understand even the tiniest speck of emptiness contains pure potentiality…pure creativity… we could start to build a framework of value around emptiness.

It’s everywhere.

Emptiness allows us to make sense of words.

For example, there’s empty space between certain letters on the screen and….as we read, that emptiness gives birth to meaning.

Likewise, the space between musical notes and the pause between beautiful phrases allows us to enjoy a symphony or a love song.

The pure potential of empty time and space shows up in our relationships too.

Stillness reveals what’s inside us.

Sometimes, it’s spontaneous joy.

Other times unwelcome emotions and unspeakable thoughts bubble up. They launch us into behaviors we later regret.

Perhaps it’s equally important to explore our inner space.

Because when we turn away from emptiness, we turn away from co-creating our future.

I’m Betting on The Future

My team and I built this Word Cloud to recognize the New Year and start fresh in a changing world.

We used words that best embody who we are and the work we do. We trust they’ll guide us as well.

I share them with you because….I’m betting on the future.

2020 gave us a history-accelerating crisis, dysfunctional politics, ineffective governance, amplified inequality, explosive social tension, isolation and an unspeakable sense of helplessness.

It also gave us businesses that shuttered as cardboard boxes, with smiles on them, landed on our doorstep….one after another.

2020 shined a spotlight on our unshakable ideal; that ‘more’ and ‘bigger’ are better.

It left some of us wondering how we’ve changed…..how some of us absorbed the trauma of lockdowns and others revolted….

While others still risk their lives every day, working harder than ever, supporting themselves and their families….helping those who need it most.

We get weary of bad news. I know. Sometimes it’s just too much so we look for distractions.

Anything to help avoid the unfathomable tragedy and enormous loss of life….fellow Americans….over 350,000 to date and more to come.

I think we have to distract ourselves…..not because we don’t care…..but because it’s too big.

No one really knows how to access that level of compassion and empathy.

Yet, here we are, in the New Year….each of us, doing our best to maintain equilibrium.

I believe we will come out of this crisis remade both individually and as a culture…. and no one knows what that will look like.

Still…I’m betting on the future.

There will be so much NEW to get used to; how we live, work, heal, communicate and learn.

The differences may not be obvious at first.

What’s likely to become obvious….pretty quickly….is how much we need each other.

We’ll witness a sped-up version of the world we knew and, most of us will try to keep up.

This will amplify our fatigue, frustrations, our vulnerability and…our fears.

If we cover our eyes as the pace accelerates…..and pretend like it’s not happening….even our denial could get bigger.

All of this might make you want to hit the snooze button!

But you won’t.

Instead, consider this your wakeup call and an opportunity to transform…..to tap into the transformative stuff you are made of.

It’s an opportunity to choose…..to be creative and harness some of the forces that have been unleashed…..and help move this accelerating world toward a more compassionate and more appealing destination.

Here are some of the things we’re doing and YOU can do too:

  • Slow down before speeding up.
  • Identify your most deeply held values and beliefs.
  • Prioritize.
  • Focus on what’s important; leave the rest.
  • Identify your genius…your superpower.
  • Approach with new commitment.
  • Be trustable.
  • Speak truth.
  • Love more.
  • Commit to do creative work every day that connects people and builds peace.

This is our commitment and why I’m betting on the future.

Truth be told….I’m betting on you too and I would love, love, love to hear from you!