Couples Counseling Articles

Emotional

Can’t We Just Move On?

In relationships, it seems we find a temporary respite… once we figure out how to move away from an anxious moment.

We take the feeling and tuck it, stuff it, ignore it, shove it down, swallow it, absorb it, compartmentalize it, internalize it, pretend it doesn’t apply, hurt or matter.

We skillfully stiffen and blame……

Look the other way to keep from facing fears we don’t even acknowledge… or have words for.

And thanks to brilliant coping mechanisms, electronic devices, social media, 18 hour work days and a hyper-connected culture of friends… we can distract ourselves indefinitely. We call it… moving on.

But we don’t move on. Ever.

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Are You There For Me?

Are You There For Me?Like most folks, you probably thought having a safe, secure base and being dependent on another human being should be limited to parents and children.

Growing up, you were probably taught, explicitly or implicitly, that the most desirable option for any self-respecting adult was independence; that needing someone… relying on someone… and needing reassurance was a sure sign of weakness.

Fortunately, there’s a new paradigm emerging and the science is clear.

  • Effective dependence is optimal and loneliness is a greater risk to your health than smoking.
  • Having a close, loving relationship and a partner who provides a safe-haven and secure base – especially in difficult times – calms the central nervous system and soothes the brain.
  • Emotional closeness enables you to do more, be more; live more fully and take more risks.

It turns out, effective, healthy and mutual dependence is an extraordinary advantage in life.

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