Wellness Counseling Center

Helping People Connect

Couples Counseling Articles

Charlotte

After The Argument

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Relationships don’t fall apart because of an argument. You and your partner both know mistakes happen. It’s what happens after the argument that can undermine your love for each other. How we repair the injury caused by our blunders is what matters most. That’s where the world of possibility lies.

If you’re available, responsive and engaged and you’re able to stay with your lover’s pain, a door opens to the possibility of building a partnership that’s even stronger than before. It creates a ripple effect that flows into other relationships and supports everyone around you – especially children.

More often than not, we’re focused on not making mistakes. We spend a life-time walking on eggshells and filled with so much shame and blame that we forget about the emotional labor of showing up and staying the course.

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You’re Invited to a Couples Workshop: 2 Days – 7 Conversations

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Have you ever wondered what it means when someone says, ‘We’re drifting apart.’?

It means, “We’re loosing our connection and we don’t know how to find our way back to each other.”

Maybe you can relate. And maybe you’ve been wanting to have heart-to-heart conversations with your partner. But you come off your daily routine physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted so you put it off until the weekend.

Then during your ‘down-time’, when things are going well, the last thing you want to do is upset everyone (including yourself) by having a well-intentioned conversation spin out of control.

In your heart, you know how vital good communication is. It’s the most important skill you can learn when it comes to marriage and relationship success. It’s also the #1 presenting issue when most couples seek help for their relationship.

You can dance around things for a while. Eventually, you’re going to have to talk about the important stuff if you want closeness.

If you don’t know how to have important conversations without spinning into a negative cycle, then it’s impossible to have much security or stability in your relationship.

On the other hand, if you know how to have these conversations or you’re willing to learn, YOU can get to the heart of the matter quickly.

No matter who you are or how long you’ve been together, if you want to improve your relationship and grow closer, you must have CONVERSATIONS that get to the heart of the matter.

That’s why Wellness Counseling Center is excited to provide the most effective relationship information I know of ….all wrapped up in 2 Days and 7 Conversations.

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop – June 23 & 24, 2018
7 Conversations For You and Your Partner
Charlotte, North Carolina

Get the details: http://TheWellnessCounselingCenter.com/hmt

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Star Stuff and Love

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We dream of stability and permanence. What shows up is confusion and paradox.

Sometimes being in an intimate relationship means choosing between compromise/conformity and taking a powerful stand for uniqueness instead; two people on separate and individual journeys – together.

One is riskier and means moving from what we know to what we don’t know.

Kind of like when the ancients suspected that Earth was not the fixed center, and was moving at unimaginable speed beneath their feet. It took thousands of years to prove this theory and in 1929, Edwin Hubble, established that we live in an ever expanding Universe.

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What’s It Worth?

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What’s an extraordinary relationship worth?

It’s worth a lot to some people but what is it worth to you?

We know the definition of the word love and we all have an idea of what a relationship ‘should’ be.

We also know what normal looks like. It’s what happens when two people get together, do things and make a pledge.

But connection is rare. It’s when we show up whole, experience the harmony of opposites and surprise ourselves in unexpected ways. It’s an experience beyond normal.

Connection isn’t loud. It creates a kind of tension that buzzes. It’s disruptive and calming at the same time. It unnerves us and feels scary as it breaks through the status quo. It’s full of power, yet has nothing to do with power-over. It changes both people; the giver and the recipient.

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Conversations Can Create Emotional Connection

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I hope your holiday season was a wonderful one!

In 2018, my team and I look forward to helping you create a new vision of what’s possible – in life and in LOVE.

As a therapist and founder of Wellness Counseling Center, I’ve had the privilege of working with thousands of couples over the years.

This year, I’ve decided to share more LOVE by facilitating workshops, speaking and teaching the amazing model we use here at Wellness.

There is a shift happening in the world of relationships.

And, these radically new concepts about attachment and connection belong in the hands of people who want to be close and make their relationship better!

Deep down, it’s no surprise that communication is the #1 presenting issue with most couples.

The real question is why has it become THE MOST important skill you can learn when it comes to marriage and relationship success?

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Join us in 2018 for a Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop

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Maybe things have been perking along between you for years…. and they still are.

But recently, you’ve noticed things changing and you feel a shift calling you toward a deeper connection. If you want a close intimate partnership….. and you’ll settle for nothing less…. this is your invitation.

It’s time to peek behind the curtain and explore what’s possible.

We’re getting ready for our new couples workshop starting in January and I hope you’ll join me there.

It’s a wonderful way to start the new year and this workshop is designed especially for people like you who want more out of their relationship.

If you’ve ever asked the question: What’s the ONE thing that would make life easier? The answer is usually pretty simple but hard to implement.

Hold Me Tight Couples WorkshopThis Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop provides you with new perspectives on love and the world of relationship. It’s interactive and will give you and your partner fresh insight and tools you need to shape a loving bond and a closer connection.

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Is It Worth It?

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It depends.

Before we can even begin to evaluate the worth of a good relationship, it’s important to understand what’s at stake.

The answers aren’t always clear in the near term.

But we’ve learned a few things over time.

If you want to know how valuable a good relationship is, the Harvard Study is a great resource.

It started in 1938, is still going on, included only men (Harvard wasn’t coed at the time) and now includes wives, children and grandchildren.

  • Close relationships keep us happy over time; significantly more so than money or fame.
  • Relationships and how happy we are in them has a powerful effect on our health.
  • Loneliness kills and is as dangerous to our health as smoking and alcoholism.

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If You Can’t Name It Or Claim It… You Can’t Change It

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It doesn’t help to tell your partner how much you hurt or what a disappointment they’ve been unless you’re willing to look at the whole picture.

They’ll take it as an attack and fight back with an argument or they’ll shut down. None of that works.

You can’t have a real conversation with your partner until you can agree on what happens between you. You’ve got to be willing to look at the data.

Ah-ha moments come with new insights. By seeing patterns… and recognizing how we effect each other when we dismiss, blame, criticize and ignore.

Without exploring what’s really happening, it’s impossible to accomplish much.

After all, when we don’t like what’s happening, it’s easiest to blame somebody else. “It’s not me, it’s you…” Then you’re off the hook.

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Tapping Into Generosity

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You can’t expect much from a person who’s hurting or in crisis. Someone who’s drowning isn’t going to offer up a cocktail or ask about your day.

They’re in a panic and focused on keeping their head above water.

Generosity requires space and attention.

Stepping back. Tuning in.

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Choosing Chocolate

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It used to be easy to choose a chocolate bar.  Sectioned milk chocolate in a brown wrapper.  Done.

Today it’s more complicated and choosing a chocolate bar has consequences – real or perceived.

  • Is the cocoa content over 70%?
  • Is it compatible with red wine?
  • Will it reduce my cortisol levels?
  • Increase blood circulation to my brain?
  • Is it gluten free?
  • USDA Organic?
  • Were the beans sustainably grown and were the growers paid a fair wage?

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