Wellness Counseling Center

Helping People Connect

Couples Counseling Articles

Charlotte

When Conversations Go Off The Rails – Bad Things Happen

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Can you relate? It happens to all of us.

It’s that moment in your relationship when things are great and suddenly someone gets triggered.

The conversation goes off the rails and your partner makes NO sense.

Communication goes in circles and you both feel frustrated, hurt and confused.

Intuitively you know it’s a negative loop – one that’s almost impossible to stop.

You’ve been here 100 times before and you want to stop it………. but you can’t

You’d love to get your point across. But, what you want MOST is to be heard and understood.

Sometimes you’re left wondering what the heck the argument was even about.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

These negative cycles are UNIVERSAL and every couple has them.

Continue Reading When Conversations Go Off The Rails – Bad Things Happen

Registration is open and I’m super excited!

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I’m thrilled to announce that Early Bird Registration (big savings!) is open for our 2019 Hold Me Tight® Workshops here in Charlotte, NC.

We have four 2-day weekends to choose from!

 

Yep. I’m that excited.

Most of us value our primary relationship and truly want to make it better – we read books and spend hours scouring the internet wondering how to make that special connection happen.

We carefully and regularly attend to our…

  • children
  • careers
  • cars
  • yards
  • mortgages and
  • home improvement projects

with LOTS of success.

But if you work your tail off and can’t figure out why things aren’t getting better between you and your partner — you are not alone.

(HINT: this is not something we’re taught in school. And people rarely recognize emotional closeness as a skill worth building and cultivating. Turns out, it’s as essential as oxygen!)

Make no mistake – the ability for a couple to have enough closeness and trust to have an important conversation (or any conversation for that matter!) without slipping into a negative spin – is a must-have for 21st century relationships.

And that’s exactly what you’ll learn in our Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples.

After 2 days and 7 conversations, you’ll walk away with concrete ways to communicate and pull your partner closer.

Talking, listening and being heard for the first time in a loooooong time is exactly what you’ll experience.

Click here and select the date that works for you……

Continue Reading Registration is open and I’m super excited!

Do You Want to Make Life Better and Easier?

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I’ve always been amazed at how much easier life can be when you have a supportive partner and a great relationship. At least that’s the way it is for most people and, YES, you can have that in YOUR life!

Recently we’ve had a ton of inquiries about our 1-Day Couples Intensives and we always make it a point to be straight-up and let people know who’s best suited for them.

The Wellness 1-Day Couples Intensive may be a perfect fit for you if:

  • You’re a busy couple
  • You live locally
  • You love each other and want things to be better (Not necessarily perfect; just better.)
  • You’re ready to take that huge and courageous first step
  • You like the idea of walking away at the end of the day with homework and a clear vision of what’s next

The 1-Day Couples Intensive covers 4-5 weeks of couples therapy in one day, completes our assessment/discovery phase and primes you for ongoing work with one of our amazing, caring therapists.

Continue Reading Do You Want to Make Life Better and Easier?

What Are You Creating?

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For as long as I can remember, most people I know fell in love and started creating the wedding. Who and how many to invite? Find the right venue. Live music or DJ? What kind of food and when do we taste the cake? Get these questions answered then swing into action.

The profits around organizing and implementing weddings are huge. It’s an industry that’s not going away. Just a quick Google search reveals there are more than 2.5 million weddings in the US annually valued at well over $50 billion. Yes. Billion.

Today, there’s a new kind of creating going on.

Over time, it’s likely to have more dominance and prestige because you cannot buy or duplicate it: Creating an intimate partnership that works.

How do we create an intimate partnership where we are doing great things AND still accessible, responsive and emotionally engaged with each other?

How do we show up in relationship in ways that serve our partner AND the world?

Happy couples of the future, the ones that want to be close 20 years from now, are asking these questions. If you’re aspiring to a happy 20+ year marriage, consider organizing an intimate partnership.

If you’re planning an average life by working harder, longer hours and making more money to build a bigger house, consider the alternative: gifting your partner and humanity with your brilliance.

Do you desire your partners attention? Join us…

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If you kick back now and then to reflect, you know almost everything in your world is good.

You’re successful by any standards. You have wonderful people in your life, a nice home, cars and plenty of toys.

Life works and most days you’re happy.

Sometimes you might feel over extended, criticized or exhausted and what you need MOST is to connect with your partner.

The challenge is getting their attention….. effectively…. without slipping into an argument or negative spin.

And while you don’t expect perfection, at the end of the day, when you’re out of public view you know things can be better.

You are prepped and ready to experience our amazing…

Hold Me Tight® Workshop for Couples

2 Days / 7 Conversations / September 29 & 30

It’s our final workshop of the year and the perfect opportunity to carve out “time for us” while getting up close and personal with the ONE you love.

I have lots of powerful relationship information to share and I provide plenty of safe, structured space for conversations YOU want and cannot seem to have at home.

Best of all – there is NO public disclosure.

Every conversation is between you and your partner ONLY.

Any time you need coaching, you can call on me or one of the extraordinary relationship consultants who will be in the room with me. But only if you want it!

Act now. It’s our final workshop of the year. You can get more information and secure your seat here:

TheWellnessCounselingCenter.com/hmt

Or, you can call us at 704-319-5593 where our client support team is happy to help and answer any questions you might have.

After The Argument

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Relationships don’t fall apart because of an argument. You and your partner both know mistakes happen. It’s what happens after the argument that can undermine your love for each other. How we repair the injury caused by our blunders is what matters most. That’s where the world of possibility lies.

If you’re available, responsive and engaged and you’re able to stay with your lover’s pain, a door opens to the possibility of building a partnership that’s even stronger than before. It creates a ripple effect that flows into other relationships and supports everyone around you – especially children.

More often than not, we’re focused on not making mistakes. We spend a life-time walking on eggshells and filled with so much shame and blame that we forget about the emotional labor of showing up and staying the course.

Continue Reading After The Argument

You’re Invited to a Couples Workshop: 2 Days – 7 Conversations

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Have you ever wondered what it means when someone says, ‘We’re drifting apart.’?

It means, “We’re loosing our connection and we don’t know how to find our way back to each other.”

Maybe you can relate. And maybe you’ve been wanting to have heart-to-heart conversations with your partner. But you come off your daily routine physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted so you put it off until the weekend.

Then during your ‘down-time’, when things are going well, the last thing you want to do is upset everyone (including yourself) by having a well-intentioned conversation spin out of control.

In your heart, you know how vital good communication is. It’s the most important skill you can learn when it comes to marriage and relationship success. It’s also the #1 presenting issue when most couples seek help for their relationship.

You can dance around things for a while. Eventually, you’re going to have to talk about the important stuff if you want closeness.

If you don’t know how to have important conversations without spinning into a negative cycle, then it’s impossible to have much security or stability in your relationship.

On the other hand, if you know how to have these conversations or you’re willing to learn, YOU can get to the heart of the matter quickly.

No matter who you are or how long you’ve been together, if you want to improve your relationship and grow closer, you must have CONVERSATIONS that get to the heart of the matter.

That’s why Wellness Counseling Center is excited to provide the most effective relationship information I know of ….all wrapped up in 2 Days and 7 Conversations.

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop – June 23 & 24, 2018
7 Conversations For You and Your Partner
Charlotte, North Carolina

Get the details: http://TheWellnessCounselingCenter.com/hmt

Continue Reading You’re Invited to a Couples Workshop: 2 Days – 7 Conversations

Star Stuff and Love

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We dream of stability and permanence. What shows up is confusion and paradox.

Sometimes being in an intimate relationship means choosing between compromise/conformity and taking a powerful stand for uniqueness instead; two people on separate and individual journeys – together.

One is riskier and means moving from what we know to what we don’t know.

Kind of like when the ancients suspected that Earth was not the fixed center, and was moving at unimaginable speed beneath their feet. It took thousands of years to prove this theory and in 1929, Edwin Hubble, established that we live in an ever expanding Universe.

Continue Reading Star Stuff and Love

What’s It Worth?

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What’s an extraordinary relationship worth?

It’s worth a lot to some people but what is it worth to you?

We know the definition of the word love and we all have an idea of what a relationship ‘should’ be.

We also know what normal looks like. It’s what happens when two people get together, do things and make a pledge.

But connection is rare. It’s when we show up whole, experience the harmony of opposites and surprise ourselves in unexpected ways. It’s an experience beyond normal.

Connection isn’t loud. It creates a kind of tension that buzzes. It’s disruptive and calming at the same time. It unnerves us and feels scary as it breaks through the status quo. It’s full of power, yet has nothing to do with power-over. It changes both people; the giver and the recipient.

Continue Reading What’s It Worth?

Conversations Can Create Emotional Connection

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I hope your holiday season was a wonderful one!

In 2018, my team and I look forward to helping you create a new vision of what’s possible – in life and in LOVE.

As a therapist and founder of Wellness Counseling Center, I’ve had the privilege of working with thousands of couples over the years.

This year, I’ve decided to share more LOVE by facilitating workshops, speaking and teaching the amazing model we use here at Wellness.

There is a shift happening in the world of relationships.

And, these radically new concepts about attachment and connection belong in the hands of people who want to be close and make their relationship better!

Deep down, it’s no surprise that communication is the #1 presenting issue with most couples.

The real question is why has it become THE MOST important skill you can learn when it comes to marriage and relationship success?

Continue Reading Conversations Can Create Emotional Connection

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