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Special Requests? No Problem.

Your sweetie asks you to get him/her a soda… with ice…

You say, “Sorry, Babe, I can’t do that. I love you to the moon and back, and here’s the deal:  I just sat down. I’ve had a full day, I’m really tired, need a break and I’ve got to rest. So, if you want that drink, you’ll have to get it yourself. And if I’m totally honest, I’d love it if you brought me one too.”

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying ‘NO’ to someone you love.

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LOVING vs. LONGING

Loving is not the same as longing.

Love is a verb….and an art form.

Like a muscle that must be used or a dance that must be danced, love gets stronger….better with practice.

  • Kindness
  • Vulnerability
  • Patience
  • Humor
  • Generosity
  • Touch
  • Gentleness

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The Best Thing I Never Told My Husband

Some of my best thoughts come to me while in an airport security line or on the tarmac just before take-off OR on my morning walk.

They’re generous, complimentary and carry a sense of appreciation.

Inevitably, I don’t have a pen handy, my phone’s at the bottom of my purse and I’m not at my laptop.

So I make a mental note — Remember to tell Steven XYZ… I think it through, even rehearse it under my breath… and then it’s gone. I forget.

That thought, that wonderful big-hearted thought… the one that could be a gigantic gift and make his day, goes unsaid.

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Simple Holiday Love

‘Everything should be made as simple as possible but not simpler’.

Einstein’s quote is a head scratcher until you think of a popular and much loved recipe.

Considering the season, let’s take a look at my favorite, Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Whittle Martha Stewart’s complicated recipe down to a few basic ingredients, and you can make it as simple as possible;

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Flashback and Gratitude

coupleDo you remember ‘When Harry Met Sally’?

This classic film came to mind as I returned to Charlotte, right after the recent Paris attacks.

I was over concerned about airport security that morning and got to my gate way too early. Fortunately, I noticed a Starbucks across the way and felt some relief as I walked over to have a cup of coffee.

The line was atrocious and snaked around the corner so I took a seat at the bar and kept an eye out for a possible break.

That’s when two people slid onto the stools next to me and settled in with their carry-ons.

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The Relationship Dance

Sue Johnson, the world’s leading couples therapist and researcher talks about intimate relationship as a ‘dance that shapes and recreates the dancers’.

Relationship is about relating; ‘It’s a dance of synchrony requiring partners to improvise and tune in to each other’.

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For entertainment we watch movies where brilliant actors talk and pick up each other’s flawless cues.

They respond perfectly. Dreamily. Lovingly. That’s why we pay them $20 million a picture, after all.

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Sometimes Hope is Enough

I imagine some couples glide thru life and wake up cheerful every day. They agree on most issues, share everything, and use their energy in a perfectly harmonious division of duties. I’ve never met one of those couples but movies and magazines want us to believe they’re out there somewhere.

More human and more admirable is the couple who – when things are stressful – stumbles and struggles to find ways to reach for each other without blaming or defending, winning or losing. Those partners look for ways to understand and support. They lean into each other when the need is urgent; talk, hold hands or sit silently letting the other know ‘I’m here for you.’ That kind of warmth and reassurance takes courage especially when others would give up and walk away.

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